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   Henry Makow

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Men Who Get Women

   July 1, 2018
   Fulfillment for a man comes from discovering what he was born to do,
   and doing it. God has given every man a mission. A man becomes a man
   when he finally believes in himself, and doesn't  put any man or woman
   above him. These men don't need women, except to help them fulfill
   their mission. They are the real men real women want.
   updated from Feb 9, 2009
   by Henry Makow Ph.D.
   Like a Zen Koan, men who get women don't need them and don't want them.
   They aren't pretending. They don't want them and they don't need them.
   Test this formula in reverse. Are women attracted to men who adore
   them? Temporarily maybe. But ultimately, women don't want to be
   idealized. They want to be seen and loved for whom they really are. A
   real woman is somewhat passive by nature. She looks to her husband to
   give her purpose. So she doesn't want to be HIS purpose.
   This wisdom has come too late to help me. In spite of being bright and
   relatively successful, I squandered my romantic life as the poster boy
   for needy. I was programmed by the mass media and education to regard
   sex and love, especially sex, as the prerequisite for my personal
   development. I was taught that these were the highest experiences life
   had to offer. In other words, I was inducted into an occult secular
   religion which required .... a woman.
   Popular occulture programmed me for failure. It taught me to idealize
   attractive women, to worship the "goddess" within, to "need" them to
   validate me. At the same time, women were programmed to think they were
   more unique and important than they really were.
   In heterosexuality, women empower their husbands by exchanging their
   worldly power for his power expressed as love. (Men want power; women
   want love. Marriage is an exchange of the two. See my book "Cruel
   Hoax.") A woman does not respect a man she can control.
   But, women were retrained to seek power instead and emasculate men.
   Attractive women were rarely portrayed in a negative light in movies or
   on TV. On the contrary, the rule was sex appeal = moral superiority. If
   an unattractive person was cast, the chances were s/he was a bad guy.
   (All of this is still true.) No wonder I pursued chimeras. No wonder my
   marriages were built on delusions.
   Let's see this in a larger context: the modern world is not dedicated
   to realizing the intentions of the mysterious Force that created the
   universe.  It is not based on discerning the inherent natural and moral
   laws that ensure our healthy development.
   Rather, modern society is dedicated to the limitless greed of a tiny
   cabal of psychopaths. It is based on using deception and hype to cheat
   man and God.
   A highly organized Satanic power, the Illuminati, want to suppress any
   notions of universal Purpose and Design. They want to demoralize and
   degrade the human race in order to colonize us. They are behind all
   Western imperialism, and now, with the NWO,  imperialism is coming home
   to roost.
   They use sex to distract people. Sex is a reproductive function. Nature
   gave it some charm and urgency to ensure it happened.  Instead of a
   short mating and procreative stage, the Illuminati have turned sex into
   a lifelong obsession designed to make us stupid.
   Most sexual perversion stems from making sex an end in itself separate
   from procreation, love and marriage. The trend toward promiscuity and
   family breakdown, portrayed as "progress," was planned by the
   Illuminati decades ago.
   In Aldous Huxley's novel Brave New World  (1932) monogamy is a selfish
   perversion. Bonding is a crime. The words "mother" and "father" are
   obscenities. Life begins on an assembly line that starts with the
   fertilization of conscripted eggs. Babies are brainwashed for 12 years,
   by endless repetition of state-approved axioms. This is the world we
   are entering as the Illuminati take away our toys but leave us our
   pills, Viagra-Prozac-Soma. We are becoming zombies with six-hour
   "So long as the love, even the smallest, of man toward woman is not
   destroyed, so long is his mind in bondage as the calf that drinks milk
   is to his mother." -Buddha
   When I was young and full of religious zeal, I considered becoming a
   monk. I decided against it comparing myself to a hamburger cooked on
   only one side. As long as I craved feminine love and sex, I wasn't
   ready. But now I'm 68, happily married after three unsuccessful tries.
   Having put in countless hours of lovemaking and studying the female, I
   can say with confidence that sex and romance are mostly a matter of
   hormones and mental programming. Anonymous sex
   is a facsimile for love; pursuing an elusive goal by imitating the act
   of love.  It is dehumanizing and degrading. Its noramlization is a sign
   of our satanic possession.
   Sex is meaningful only as an expression of a loving bond between a man
   and woman. But, men don't need women or sex to fulfill themselves. They
   only need them to realize they don't need them.
   Love grows over time when a man and woman trust each other for
   companionship, understanding and support. The other kind of love is
   worship, and that is reserved for God alone.

   Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for "Men Who Get Women"

   David S said (July 1, 2018):

   Well done. I circulated your article, "Men That Get Women."

   Your confession that the understanding came too late for you added
   evidence of authenticity that is refreshingly unlike what is usually
   found in the bravado-ridden manosphere. This state of deprivation is
   true for me as well. I (b. 1957) was ruined by the bad ideas of the
   times and I did not figure it out for myself only later and with the
   help of others. My reward now comes from aiming for Heaven by tending
   my soul in thought & action as well as trying to alert others.

   Borris said (March 12, 2009):

   I have this saying that many women to whom I have told have literally
   burst out laughing. Mostly because it does sound so corny, but it keeps
   me sane. Most woman I have met, will skip the first stage and only
   concentrate on the second and most men I have met will allow it even
   though to have a lover who knows not you or your dreams, is like having
   a real life inflatable doll at your side: "a cum bucket", as you put in
   one of your articles.

   I would think if the men would demand more from their women instead of
   allowing them to act like little miss slut-slut, women would get the
   message that men don't want girls who have gone wild.

   Anyways it goes:

   There are 4 stages every woman will go thru in the life of a man.

   Friend - with whom he learns to laugh, love, dream, and cry
   Lover - of mind, body, and soul
   Wife - because he needs no other
   Mother - of that which makes him whole.

   The journey thru the first three stages allows the fourth to flourish.
   so begin with a first step for the last step will be a lifetime in the
   making and a journey unto itself.

   Needless to say, I have not found many woman that understand what I
   mean by this saying. Like I said, most laugh. However, I am also not in
   a position to even think about it because I have not become that which
   can provide a foundation upon which the "pillars" can be
   erected.....yet. I still have work to do in undoing that which has been
   done to my head and heart. Resent and bitterness is still strong in
   this man.

   A future should never pay for mistakes of a past.

   Nidal said (February 21, 2009):

   I donaEUR(TM)t know whether it is the age (33 now) or the maturity or
   the lack of really attractive women (inside and out) in our modern life
   that makes me feel now quite comfortable living without a woman in my
   life. I still can have occasional short relations or encounters, but
   marriage and relations are big "no no" for me at this point :) women
   need to change their attitude, social behaviour and level of knowledge
   (almost an impossibility in the current wave of hype and BS feminism)
   before I can consider one in my life.

   Otherwise I will just set myself for unbearable pain and a detriment to
   my freedom and spiritual and intellectual development. The
   attention-to-women hype is a bubble just like any other economical
   bubble (after all women have become an economical product) that will
   bust with the rest of the hyper inflated bubbles. More and more men
   will be turned off by womenaEUR(TM)s attitude, and the women stocks
   will go bust, and then they will realize their real size in our social
   life and will return to their natural role in the society. Women will
   be looking for men and not the other way around. Of course this talk
   will hit right on the nerve of some people. But who cares, it is
   another crazy idea I have.

   Jessica said (February 12, 2009):

   There's a paragraph in the Urantia Book that says all the romantic
   embellishment given to marraige is the cause for divorce. Romance ruins
   romance. I threw away my old romantic movies. I am taking four college
   classes about politics and history. There's a whole world out there I
   had not discovered. I got a whole new CD case full of classical music
   to replace the romantic pop CD's I had. After letting your Cruel Hoax
   book sink in for so long I can no longer enjoy pop music. It's like
   nails on a chalkboard. Pop music is too mushy. I can't listen to it. I
   took them all to be traded.

   Lisa said (February 12, 2009):

   Fulfillment for a man comes from discovering what he was born to do,
   and doing it. God has given every man a mission. A man becomes a man
   when he finally believes in himself, and doesn't put any man or woman
   above him. These men don't need women, except to help them fulfill
   their mission. These are the real men real women want.


   Thank you immensely for your article. I can personally attest that this
   is true. I have been blessed with a relationship which allows me to do
   just this, and I have never been able to put my finger on the exact
   nature of this feeling of contentment and inner happiness that it
   brings me... a peace which passes all understanding.

   I consider myself so blessed to be able to live this out in real life,
   but I, too, did not come into this knowledge until I was much older and
   wiser. I pray that some of your younger readers will learn from our
   mistakes and spare themselves a lot of heartache in the process.

   Nada said (February 12, 2009):



   Vincent said (February 12, 2009):

   After reading it, It made me realize that far too many of us males had
   our minds programed from such an early age to think this way. From the
   time I was a teen around 16 I seen physically attractive females as
   toys for sex & yes I too induldged on several occassions.
   As a teen of 18 I was engaged for roughly 2 years to a girl that I
   thought was my lifemate, I couldn't understand why the sex was mutually
   great but my inner voice was telling me for a long period of time over
   the 2 years that somehow the relationship was void of something. That
   something was real healthy respect & a lack of evolving mutual
   At 24 I met a young woman, we had sex very soon after the first date &
   within a few weeks she was pregnant. As I have never agreed with
   abortion, I felt obligated to marry her for the childs sake..mistake.
   We married, a year almost to the day another child, two years later we
   couldn't stand each other..no love, no caring & I had for some time
   before lost even the desire for any intimacy, I slept on the couch
   rather than be around her. The boys are grown now in their mid 20's but
   I have lived with the pain of not having been in their lives much after
   having moved across the country when they were 2 & three. I never told
   them of the time near the end when their mother came home with a piece
   of jewlery while mentioning a mans name she worked with who was "so
   nice" & gave her a present..I knew she was having an affair..the calls
   when I was home from work & no one would answer when I picked up. Why
   tell the boys, there's no good that can come from their knowing.
   Failure again because I thought sex meant commitment to each other etc.
   At last! (I bet you're saying the same thing after reading all of
   this)...Almost 19 years ago I met a woman three years younger than me.
   I'll be 48 next month. We were married 18 years ago & have one daughter
   who is now 15. I've changed so much since my younger days, I don't see
   women like I used to. My wife who had a birthday yesterday is a
   wonderful person, interesting, kind, loving, understanding, we're
   companions, the intimacy is still there, we have grown to know without
   having to ask when one of us needs a little extra love in the true
   sense of the word.
   I now look back on how I used women & they used me without either
   really being fully aware of it or why. Sad that we have to take the
   long road to get to where we should have been in our development so
   long ago but the journey was worth it.
   Often I look at my wife whe she's reading comfortably in a chair or
   while she's talking to me & I listen but also find myself truly loving
   her & respecting her for the person she is. It's what was missing all
   those years, real love based on respect, loyalty, compassion & love for
   who she is not selfish desire.

   Lynda said (February 12, 2009):

   Thank you for sharing your life's lessons and the wisdom you have
   distilled by your adventure. I don't know how many laps around the sun
   you have done, but you are lighting the way to more generous
   possibilities for humane fellowship (in all its dimensions) and joy.
   Not for nothing does any society wishing to live through its
   generations surround courtship and marriage with the most careful
   attentions and the best the community can offer in terms of occaisions
   of happiness for the young people.
   This is very carefully looked after by the older generations who
   anticipate the joys of grandchildren and posterity.
   Great care is taken in how young women are introduced to young men. A
   young man is assisted by his family to get the wherewithal to establish
   his identity in the society through his skills and training. This can
   translate into a home.
   A young woman is assisted by her family to obtain the means and the
   skills to make a home - whatever other education she may obtain. In
   societies which intend to perpetuate national, cultural and spiritual
   identity, young women do not just 'hang out' with men. They are
   secluded from the society of young males in groups.
   Young men in groups in particular are not permitted to 'call the shots'
   in terms of social access for young women. If this is permitted as it
   is in America, what this means in fact is - if a young woman wants to
   go out, have fun with other young people, meet young men, see, be seen
   etc then she must pay a price in terms of sexual availability. No
   society that intends to survive as a society is going to allow this.
   By the same token, neither are the young women as a group permitted to
   call the shots. For they will set the kind of rules that are
   materialistic in terms of fashion, popularity and are too slavish
   towards the most physically attractive men, most contemptuous of the
   more homely women.
   Introductions and social events proceed under the guardianship of the
   elders of the community who finance and appoint recreation for the
   young men and women who may be eligible. Familiarity is not permitted
   to become contempt. The sterling qualities of the young man the family
   might 'have its eye on' will be presented to the eligible young woman
   in a way calculated to arouse her interest. Occaisions will be
   thoughtfully designed to introduce the young people and allow them to
   see each other in the best light.
   Young North Americans were simply abandoned without family, cultural,
   spiritual disciplines of the community and brainwashed by the most
   determined foes of the society. They navigated uncharted sociological
   space and made a mess of it. But it is an INTERESTING mess with a huge
   learning curve and many possibilities for romantic recovery.

   Dan said (February 12, 2009):

   High testosterone levels in youth are a curse, that's what I says. I
   knew this early. I remember one perfect afternoon by myself in 1980, I
   realized that I having a great time and hadn't thought about women all

   I wonder when the sappy stuff came into vogue. It goes back at least to
   the latter 18th century - the age of romanticism. Goethe wrote a best
   seller novel called "the Sorrows of Young Werther". It was about a
   young student's unrequited love for a young woman he couldn't get, so
   the book ends with Werther sending her a lovely poem before fatally
   shooting himself in the head.

   The historical significance of this book is that all over Europe a
   notable number of male university students followed suit for two years.
   Such a thing is a symptom of the onset of decadence in any culture.

   Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the
   University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at
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